Boys Become Men: Modern Rite of Passage
Climbing Kili
What could be better than to embark on a multi-day hike with your son to help him learn to what it means to become a man?
In our fast-paced, achievement-driven culture, we often overlook one of the most pivotal milestones in a young man's life: the transition from boyhood to manhood. Unlike other cultures that commemorate this with formal ceremonies or traditions, we in the West largely lack a shared rite of passage. This absence leaves many young men wandering, searching for validation in money, power, or fleeting accolades—often at the expense of their sense of purpose, character, and identity.
I realized how profound this gap is after reading a book by a counselor who helps men rediscover their purpose. His message was clear: every boy needs a moment where his father—or a father figure—looks him in the eye and says, “You are a man.” Without this affirmation, countless men grow up striving to prove themselves in unhealthy ways. Inspired by this, I’ve planned a rite of passage for my own son. We’ll be leaving our home in Florida to climb in Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.
This journey is about more than summiting a mountain. It’s about being exposed to a transformation trial that results in physical, emotional, and spiritual preparation for adulthood. Along the way, my son and I will talk about what it means to be a man—faith, integrity, humility, perseverance—and the responsibilities that come with it. When we reach the summit, I’ll mark the moment by affirming, “You’ve made it. You are a man.”
This idea of intentional affirmation isn’t new. The Bible is the ultimate teacher and has countless examples of God calling His people into new seasons of life. One verse that resonates deeply is “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways” (1 Corinthians 13:11). These moments of transition are critical, and as parents, we’re called to help guide our kids through them.
Creating these milestones helps our kids mature into their own people—grounded, purposeful, and ready for life’s challenges. Whether it’s scaling Kilimanjaro or completing a significant project, the point is the same: we’re not just raising boys; we’re raising men. And when we do it through great relationships with faith, love, and intention, the impact lasts a lifetime.
Thanks for reading,
Jeff