The Evolution of Fatherhood in Modern Media: A Tale of Two Tropes

As a father and the CEO of Man Up and Go, I’ve seen firsthand the importance of the role fathers play in shaping the lives of their children. It’s also interesting to observe how fatherhood is portrayed in the media. Over the years, we’ve seen a couple of dominant tropes emerge: the bumbling, clueless father and the wise, knowledgeable dad.

Take, for example, Ray Romano’s character in *Everybody Loves Raymond*. He’s your typical sitcom dad—well-meaning but largely portrayed as a bumbling idiot who can’t seem to get anything right. He’s often the butt of the joke, disconnected from the mental and emotional load of family life, and reliant on his wife to make sense of it all. Sure, it’s funny on screen, but there’s a deeper issue at play here. When men are depicted this way, it sends the message that fathers aren’t capable, that they’re out of touch, and that they don’t share the responsibility of raising their kids.

Then, you’ve got the Uncle Phil type from *The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air*. Uncle Phil is wise, steady, and emotionally intelligent. He’s not perfect, but he’s grounded in values, and he sets the tone for his family. He’s involved, engaged, and sets a high bar for what fatherhood should look like. It’s no wonder he’s revered as one of the best examples of a father figure on television.

One memorable example of Uncle Phil's strong fatherly presence is in the episode “Papa’s Got a Brand New Excuse,” when Will’s estranged father unexpectedly returns to his life, only to leave him again. In one of the most emotional moments of the series, Will breaks down, asking, “How come he don't want me, man?” Uncle Phil steps in as the steady, loving father figure, embracing Will in a moment of vulnerability and providing the emotional support his biological father couldn’t. Uncle Phil’s response is filled with compassion and strength, showing his deep love for Will, even though they aren't related by blood. This scene is a powerful example of servant leadership in action, as Uncle Phil shows what it means to be emotionally available and to stand in the gap when others fall short—demonstrating exactly what a godly, present father looks like.

The contrast between these two tropes speaks volumes about what we expect from fathers. In real life, fathers are called to be servant leaders, much like Jesus. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Fatherhood isn’t about being clueless and disengaged, but about being involved and sacrificial, like Uncle Phil.

One of the biggest issues I see today is that many fathers don’t feel equipped to handle the full scope of family life. They may have grown up watching portrayals like Ray Romano, which normalize detachment, or they might be in environments where the emotional load of parenting is not shared. But as men, we’re called to something greater. Just as Jesus laid down His life for the church, we’re called to serve our families with that same heart of leadership and love.

Fatherhood is about stepping up, taking on the mental load, and being an active participant in the lives of our children. The media may paint a picture of incompetence, but I believe we can be like Uncle Phil—wise, caring, and invested in the lives of those we lead.

Thanks for reading,

Jeff Ford